I created my website out of pure ire because FB blocked my updates and everything else I posted on my business art page. As an artist in the real world, especially in the US, if you are not bonking old balls on a river boat and pretending to like it you're basically stuck having alternative jobs (teaching etc) in order to pay real bills. Think about how much a regular teacher makes and minus 3/4ths of that. I'm a part-time art teacher, when they "need" me. I can't give my pretend money to FB if I need to go to concerts and have food for camping. My lack of funding led me to start this free website. Once I threw some art and photography online I decided to follow my real dream, the scary one, which always included writing. I had some old work hidden in the depths of external hard drives which are due to crash at any time, but I was bored with the things I had written before yesterday and decided to take a chance. I wrote Helmet straight out of my bum. Helmet blew up. Once I started writing it, she just grew and grew, like a giant constipated bowel releasing a giant turd. I expected it to be a one time blog, but after 4 or 5 pages I had barely scratched the surface. I had to write 30 pages and break it up into seven and a half parts to release the build up I didn't even know existed. People I hadn't spoken with in years sent me videos encouraging me to contact the people who wrote "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." I was pressured to publish by another friend, worried this great comedy could be stolen and marketed by the universe. Another friend, a great artist (I love his work) posted a perfect sketch cartoon of one of the blogs. My heart soared. I wouldn't mind making Helmet into a graphic novel, but it would take a ton of time. I told my friend who wants me to crank out some quickie pilot that I would prefer if Judd Apatow would just adopt it, because the penis drawing scene in "Superbad" is my childhood in a nutshell. I would also love to get Taika Waititi's digits, in New Zealand, and lure him with my stellar ideas. His "Eagle vs. Shark" movie is my current favorite comedy and absolutely perfect in every way. Those are the only people in the industry who I could imagine producing or directing my ugly baby. I'm sure me and my friends could do something, to lay out the blueprint so I'll have to write some screenplay scenes. If you know any actors that work for free and have nothing better to do, they can contact me and we can laugh and eat organic apples in between takes on our less then stellar video for future amateur editing. Gayla and I spoke about it and we have our cast ready when the real money starts rolling in. Yeah, we're ready when you are, Hollywood. Until then we'll have a good time making a play in my backyard. I wonder if the new owner of Hobbit's haunted house will let us film there. I also wonder how Hobbit would feel if I crashed his house and filmed there. I haven't spoken to him in many years, but that might be a funny thing just to have on tape. "We're going to use your house and I'll pay you when the movie that shows you being Helmet's hero comes out." No problem there.
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My mind wandersI write whatever I'm thinking in no particular order Archives
July 2023
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