Jackie, my great friend, wanted to celebrate my return to the nightlife after baby down time, and paid for a very expensive VIP booth and dance night for ten girls at the newest, expensive downtown club, the Park. Somehow Helmet made it on her list, Jackie was kind, and had a soft spot for the do funny, or someone better couldn’t make it, but Helmet came. I don’t really remember much about that evening, we had a great time, and I ignored Helmet as much as I could.
Helmet interrupted a deep conversation with two really great friends, Courtney, who had traveled from San Francisco and I didn’t get to see much, and Gayla, my favorite side kick, to brag about her dancing moves. She said a random stranger was gushing about how great Helmet’s moves were, and how she loved how Helmet danced. None of us cared and we smiled politely and continued our conversation. I think Helmet got the hint because she left to go impress more people on the dance floor. Someone in our party, told me later that Helmet danced like a psycho having an offbeat convulsion. I remembered Helmet’s rendition of her boogie and also her acquisition of a fan base and made a mental note to pay more attention to her “moves” in the future. Courtney decided to have a Midsummer Night’s Dream party at her parents house in Rio Linda. Courtney had just finished chef school and lived in San Francisco, but she missed her hometown buddies and wanted to celebrate in style. Gayla and her dad, Rich, created an amazing set for her. Rich worked as the hospitality host for Bill Graham Presents for 30 years prior to his retirement and he knew how to professionally design an event. He made Gayla and her step mom sew hundreds of pillows for the Grateful Dead’s opium den and this Midsummer’s party would be no different. He required a giant, flowing, colorful Moroccan tent to house a hookah lounge (or “laown-guh,” see the do-funny dictionary). He wouldn’t stop until the set was awe inspiring and everyone in attendance was blown away. We had a running joke about needing helicopters to transport our materials. Since our budget was usually in the $200 range, we had to be more imaginative. Rich put together his giant pop up tent that required ten people to set up. It was big enough for the entire party to dance in, and it had nice colorful sheer fabrics flowing around in fairytale romance style. There were multiple resting areas, and giant pillows stacked within to create a wonderfully low lit, gorgeous VIP area. It was a great party. At the end of the evening Dan and I were lying together in the pillow lounge being lazy and chatting. Helmet was supposed to give us a ride home because we had been drinking and she had offered to before the party, probably just so she could attend. In another pillow pile we overheard our friend, Elias, ask Helmet about her recent whereabouts with his nephew. Elias was dating Courtney, and was from the Bay Area, but his family lived locally. Helmet and Desmond had disappeared for an hour or two and had pretty much spent the entire evening together. Desmond was a bit of a player, and had several baby mommas. He was a notorious sex maniac. Dan and I heard Elias’s question and we immediately stopped talking and eavesdropped on their conversation. Helmet freaked out. “Cut it!” she made a scissors motion in the air in front of her face, cutting the space in front of her nose and staring Elias down angrily. Elias was not intimidated by Helmet’s sudden defensive behavior. “I just wanted to know what you guys were doing, because he’s married, and has children.” Elias was starting to get irritated and we could easily see Helmet was extremely agitated. Dan and I enjoyed the drama immensely. Elias had a very funny demeanor in general. He was a very old fashioned young Mexican man who had hilarious expressive energy and dressed like a fashion model. He was dead pan serious, and asked Helmet again what she and his nephew were doing. Helmet acted like a cornered animal. “I said cut it! Cut it!” She repeated this phrase multiple times making the scissors motion in the air, getting closer and closer to Elias. He had been sitting comfortably and she was standing, in front of him jumping around. Dan and I could no longer hold ourselves quietly in the corner. We scream laughed until we cried watching the same question and answer game on repeat with no conclusion. It happened a few more times, Elias repeating the question and Helmet responding “Cut it!” making scissors in the air until she ran to her truck and took off flying away in the midsummer’s night. “What the Hell was that about?” Elias was grieved by the whole situation. “I just asked her what she was doing with my nephew because I was genuinely concerned.” Dan and I wiped laughing tears away and had to call a cab. A cab takes two hours to arrive when you call at 3AM in Rio Linda, but it was worth losing our ride to have a new slogan, with the accompanying air scissors move, now famous in our inner circle, “Cut it.”
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
My mind wandersI write whatever I'm thinking in no particular order Archives
July 2023
Categories |