The best thing about being raised by disco swingers is you had free reign to watch "Soul Train" which is a life changing thing in itself, and still one of my favorite shows to date. I also watched the weekly dance off on Dance Fever and never missed an episode of Fame. I fashioned myself as one of the characters on Breakin' and Electric Boogaloo, unfortunately not the girl. We were raised by television as the children now are raised by tiny phone screens. Parents need to ignore their children to survive. Children are so needy, and when you are a control freak it’s hard to care for yourself and the child simultaneously. Something needs to give. My mother is from a foreign land, it’s very different in Thailand than it is in America. I never let her forget it either. We were both born in the year of the tiger, and anyone that studies chinese astrology knows this is a terrible thing. By age two I was rebelling and my mother was trying to beat out the fight. Keep in mind it was the 70’s and that’s how you raised your kids, by whooping them. It didn’t work, and we still have the energy of two magnets that pop in opposite directions when pushed together. I love her very much, and she loves me as well, and now that I have children of my own I understand her unbridled reigns of terror combined with dramatic breakdowns and episodes of mania. Some people shouldn’t have children. That is a fact. It’s not anyone’s fault. Mentally it is traumatizing. These little minions poop and pee everywhere, they destroy all your belongings, they scream in your face. They hurt your feelings and spread filth and disease. Yes, cute babies become your worst nightmares, like when my daughter spread feces all over the walls, doors, bed and herself and then fell asleep in the middle of it (because I didn’t believe her when she said she had to go to the bathroom during naptime). I don’t blame my parents for my childhood that from the outside looking in was probably ok, but from the perspective of the child who at age 7 walked through a disco swinger party and grabbed a couple wine coolers and some menthol cigarettes from the coffee tables and climbed on the roof to enjoy them in continual solitude, not so great. I have no idea what the moral of the story is, but pretty much don’t judge a book by the cover. Everyone thought my parents, who had good money and provided all the necessities “spoiled” me and that I had a charmed life. Did those same people know I got left every day for hours after school waiting for my rides because my parents were too busy to remember I existed? I was in choir, basketball and volleyball for four years, from 5th grade to 8th grade and neither of my parents went to one game, one rehearsal or one event. I was actually pretty good too. At the award ceremony I won best defense in basketball and I served a whole game in volleyball at a championship. I tried to make up for it by attending every game/event of both our kids. We don’t spend money, we spend time with ours. I’m not saying we are perfect, we partied a little hard when our boy, who is an adult now, was a baby. We are trying to make up for something we lacked, and maybe we can. I spent yesterday playing tennis and rollerblading with my daughter at the park. It feels pretty great to be present. She’ll probably hate me when she gets old and complain about all the horrible things I did or didn’t do. I think that is just what parenthood is. There is no right or wrong.
2 Comments
Joy Brown
4/3/2017 08:01:46 pm
Interesting. Perspective is everything. Living the life of a close friend/sister of the daughter of disco/swingin parents, life seemed, "normal". Smoking pot at 9 isn't normal? Babysitting our baby sitter while she and her friends were trippin..that's not normal either? Hmm? Well all in all, you turned out just right. Experience is everything. We each have our own path. We each have our own perspective of normal. Without those disco swingers we wouldn't have had half as much fun as we did. I appreciate your parents, because from my perspective, it gave me a chance to have a twin sister. You were always by my side, and for that I am so thankful. Praise be to Disco! ❤️
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Anita Lincoln
4/3/2017 10:51:35 pm
Joy, I was always at your house mooching food and love.
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